either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
