Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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