and you said cock pushups were impossible
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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