Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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