just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
