Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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