I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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