is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
