We won't sleep together?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
