College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize