im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
