i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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