She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
