direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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