This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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