there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
