i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize