i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
