What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
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I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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