so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
