My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
