It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
