That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
