Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
