i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
