please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
