Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
