jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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