I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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