me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I AM VODKA MAN
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
