why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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