I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
