You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
