Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
