I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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