You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
