now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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