You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
