I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
