They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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