it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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