Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
