Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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