I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
