You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
