Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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