Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
