I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
