Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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