I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize