She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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