last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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