you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
