Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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