I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
