Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
