If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize