And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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