I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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