You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize
