Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm too high and old for this...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
