well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
